My twin - the panda

I have been the recipient of two black eyes in about as many months. Both of them happened while playing basketball. The first was when I was going up for a rebound while playing with some pretty big guys. I jumped up as one of those 'pretty big guys' was coming down. His elbow hit me square in the eye. Ouch! yes... I cried. But, he didn't know that. He also didn't see the eye. I only got sympathy from my wonderful roommates. :) They're very good at giving sympathy. :)

The second black eye happened on Monday. I was playing water basketball with two boys and my roommate Debi. I had the ball. I saw my hometeachers' hand coming and moved the ball out of the way. Karate chop to the eye! Ouch!!!!! Even more Ouch!!! than the last one. I didn't cry for this one. And my hometeacher definitely noticed. He felt so bad! He has given me more hugs in the last two days than the last 9 months combined.

We went out for dinner at IHOP last night. My hometeacher came. When you leave the restaurant, there are stuffed animals on a shelf. My hometeacher grabbed a panda bear off the shelf and said he was really a polar bear that had been playing a little too rough in the water. "How true that is!"

It's in my jeans!

I have inherited many traits from both sides of my family. From my father, I got my brown eyes and thick brown hair. I got my Dad's nose... just on a smaller scale. I got my Dad's smile-dimple included. From my Mom, I got my legs and arms. I got my Mom's feet. I got my Mom's talent for singing. I got my Mom's talent for typing really quickly. I think I'm a pretty good mixture of both.

Something I didn't anticipate was something else that's in my jeans (there's a reason I'm spelling it that way!). I think I inherited this one from my sister.

A couple weeks ago, we went to FHE and played football. Caitie was trying to describe a jump kick to someone and ended up showing them exactly what it was. I'm not sure what happened, but all of a sudden, I saw Caitie crouched down yelling, "Sweatshirt! I need a sweatshirt!" There was laughter all around. There was one boy blushing completely on the sidelines. Caitie had ripped her pants all the way from the zipper down to just above her knee. We ran to give her a sweatshirt and she went home to change her clothes. Funny story huh? Wait... it gets funnier.

So last week, I went camping with a bunch of my friends. All of whom knew the incident with Caitie. I was wearing jeans that were pretty worn out. We were playing volleyball and the ball came to my side. I knew it was for me! I dove... as I hit the ground, there was a splitting sound. I quickly looked down to find my jeans matched my sister's from the week before. It wasn't quite as large a tear, but definitely too big to walk around. "Sweatshirt! I need a sweatshirt!" I yelled. My friends busted up.

So when I tell people what I've inherited from my family as far as physical traits go... It's not just genetics... it's in my jeans.

My two left feet

I am currently taking a country western social dance class with four of my five roomates-Caitie being the only one excluded. Caitie is on the ballroom dance team and UVSC and has class during the time of our class. We miss her a lot.

There is a rule in the class that you are not allowed to wear flip-flops or be bare-foot. If you do either of those, you are counted as absent. On Monday, I decided to wear flip-flops to school. I was prepared for dance class though; I brought a different pair of shoes for dance to put on before class started.

After my roomates came and we gave hugs and kisses all around (among the roomates, of course!), it was time for me to put on my shoes. I pulled them out of my bag. Yep... they're both there. They're both brown. Umm... uh oh. One shoe has laces and the other doesn't. That will look funny, I thought. Then, I realized I brought two left shoes. I burst into laughter-as did my roomates. I put them on. It looked like my right foot was severely disjointed.

At first, I thought I would be clever and tell the boys if I danced funny, it's because I had two left feet that day. I proceeded to tell them the story of what happened that day. However, after about two dance partners, the boys started asking me how my two left feet were. So I asked the boys how they knew! Was it really that obvious? Or was it a joke? Apparently, my roomate Cassidy just in front of me in line told them all the embarrassing truth.. I really did have two left feet. Oh the joys of dancing!

A phenomenal up and down day

Yesterday I woke up groggy and sunburned. Granted-I'm not nearly as sunburned as Caitie or Ted-but it's still a bit painful (especially my scalp). I went to church and the floodgates opened. We had fast and testimony meeting first. I really think 75% of those testimonies were testimonies I needed to hear. It was a powerful meeting. The main focus was the Savior. That's where the power came. Whenever anyone testifies of our Savior, the spirit is there in abundance. It's amazing.

The next meeting was Relief Society. Caitie taught. She taught about missionary work. When the scripture came up about how much joy we'll have in the kingdom if we bring but one soul unto Christ, one girl talked about her dad being the only member in his family, but because he is a member, generations into the future will be blessed with the gospel. I thought of my Mom. What a powerful example. I am so grateful for the missionaries who brought the gospel to my Mom's family. That one missionary has brought literally hundreds maybe thousands of missionaries all over the world into the Church.

The next meeting was Sunday school. Brandon taught Sunday School. He's a great teacher. We learned about Samson and how the people kept turning their back on the Lord and then they would repent and have the spirit and the cycle continued on. Great lesson. :)

I walked home and checked my email. There was a letter from Rob. "Exciting News" was the subject. I knew what it was before I opened it. Her name is Emily, she's 20, she's a ball of fun and energy and his family adores her. My initial response was genuine excitement and happiness for them. About ten minutes later it really hit me. I cried for about an hour. I wrote part of a song. I wrote a poem. I cried some more. I prayed. I am again genuinely happy for them. They will be a wonderful couple. It just wasn't right for Rob and me to be together. The Lord helped me with that. I'm so grateful.

I took a much-needed nap and then ate ice cream with my roomates. They made me laugh-like they always do. I prepared a spiritual thought for ward prayer. I talked to my parents on the phone. They always inspire me. Ted came over and we went to the UPC to have a meeting and get ready for ward choir practice. We talked about the pioneer fireside. We jammed on the piano. We sang. Ward chior practice started. We had at least 25 people there. I smiled the entire time. Ted is an incredible director. The fun and excitement of music is there and people are attracted to that. Enthusiasm is a powerful draw and Ted has that in abundance.

After choir, Ted, Rachel and her boyfriend Rob all wanted to jam. We all played and sang for a little while and then Rachel and I wanted to talk. Ted and Rob gave us great background music while we talked about life and relationships and spiritual experiences we've had. I cried. She cried. The Lord is so good to us. She challenged me to not be afraid to take risks. I'm going to take a risk. I need to be ready to open myself up to relationships again. I think I'm ready. My friend Scott challenged me to go on a date this week. I'm going to do it. I'm ready. What a day. What a wonderful, up and down day. Those are needed sometimes. :) Life is great!

See the Light

This weekend has been fantastic! It started off with a really great experience. On Friday night Audrey, Debi, Ted, Caitie and I went hiking up to Squaw peak. We began around 8:30 pm and ended at around 12:30 am. The whole way up we all talked and told stories. We sang silly songs and wondered if we would survive. 'Feel the burn!' I kept telling myself. And somehow, one footstep at a time, we made it to the top. When we got there, and I saw our surroundings, it took my breath away. On one side, were the extraordinary city lights of beautiful Provo (Caitie said they look like fireworks upside-down). :) On the other side, were incredible mountain peaks that seemed surreal in their beauty. As we got nearer the top, I became more and more peaceful. I didn't talk myself into that feeling, it just came. At the top of the mountain, with the wind whipping all around me, I felt like I was in the temple. My heart was so full, I felt tears come to my eyes. Caitie started singing, "See the Light" from our musical in Kirtland. We sang that song during the temple dedication in the show. How fitting to sing it at the tops of the mountains. I joined in, drinking in the spirit of the song and the energy of the mountains. I really felt closer to heaven. It's hard to explain. It was beautiful.

On the way down, Caitie and I talked about some thoughts we both had while on the hike. I told her that while I was going up the mountain, I had the thought that if it were anyone else leading the group on the hike other than Ted, I would feel very uncomfortable. But, because I trusted him in the mountains and I knew he would lead us where we needed to be, I was all right. There were a few times when my imagination ran away with me and I kept seeing things in the woods that weren't there. Ted told me to relax and I would be fine. As I thought about that, I realized that's what I need to be more like with my Savior. I need to trust Him implicitly. I do not need to be afraid of the steps I need to take for my growth because I know He will only lead to do those things that are good for me and will lead me to my eternal goals. It was powerful for me.

Caitie's insight was that when she first started the hike, she looked way ahead at where we were going and began to get overwhelmed and tired. When she only looked ahead at the next step, she realized she could handle it. We talked about how the Savior only shows us one step of our life at a time. And sometimes when we get more than that, we become overwhelmed and discouraged-thinking we're not strong enough to handle all that's ahead of us.

The Lord is over all. He guides us and leads us every step of the way. He also finds those little moments to teach us the little insights that we need to make it to the next step. And every step of the way, He shows us even more beautiful scenery. I'm so grateful for Him.

I have a new niece!

Meet Rachel Lovina Gardner!!! She is the newest member of our family. :) She was born May 22, 2006 at 4:46 am. She was 8 lbs. 7 oz. and 21 inches long. Isn't she beautiful? I'm convinced she came out singing!

She's already smiling!!! Rachel with Mommy.

Rachel with her big bros! They love her!

What a beautiful family!

Rachel with Daddy. :)

ASL

Today in my American Sign Language class we had a story-telling test. I'm not incredibly confident of my signing abilities, but I understand others fairly well. Because of that, I was very nervous for this test. As I walked into the room, our teacher had a video camera set up to record us. One by one, the students voluntarily came up to the front of the room and signed their funny stories. I wanted to be the last one up - in hopes that everyone else would leave the room before I got up to sign. No such luck. I was 5th to last because there were people even more nervous than I!

As soon as I started signing, I realized my hands don't work when I sign. When I signed "fall" (which is having two fingers falling on your other hand as if they were legs), I used 5 fingers instead of two. I know the person falling did not have 5 limbs. I also kept using man as mom. My hands shook while I finger-spelled. I told the story out of order... ugh... it did not turn out as pretty as I was hoping. However, it was a funny story, and the teacher did laugh. That's a plus. :)

I love sign language. I love Deaf culture. Helen Keller once said something to the effect of: "Blindness separates people from things. Deafness separates people from people." I am so grateful to be learning sign language. I love being able to communicate with these incredible people.

I also love Deaf jokes. Here are a couple I have seen recently that I thought were amusing. Enjoy!

1) There was a logger. He went to cut down a tree. He used his ax a few times, yelled "timber," and the tree fell. Then chopped for a while on a second tree, yelled "timber," and that tree fell as well. He went through the same process with a third tree, but the third tree wouldn't fall over. So he tried a chain saw, and then explosives, finally he called in a "Tree Doctor." The doctor checked out the tree, thought about what to do for a minute then fingerspelled "T-I-M-B-E-R." The third tree finally fell down. The doctor explained to the lumberjack that this particular tree was Deaf.


2) "A huge giant is stalking through a small village of wee people, who are scattering through the streets, trying to escape the ugly creature. The giant notices one particularly beautiful blonde woman scampering down the cobble-stoned street. He stretches out his clumsy arm and sweeps her up, then stares in wonder at the slight, shivering figure in his palm. "You are so beautiful," he exclaims. The young woman looks up in fear. "I would never hurt you, he signs, "I love you! We should get MARRIED." Producing the sign MARRY, he crushes her. The giant then laments, "See, oralism is better."

Weather or not... :)

I love weather. It affects me more than it should. But, I love it.

I love wind. I love the smell of wind before rain. I love dancing by myself in the wind. I love wearing long skirts in the wind. I love playing basketball in the wind. I love the feeling of wind through my hair. I love running in the wind. I love the leaves that fly everywhere when it is windy. I love flying kites. I love singing in the wind.

I love rain. I love having the raindrops fall on my face while I look up at the sky in wonder. I love swimming in my lawn at home when it floods. I also love seeing the ducks swim in my lawn at home when it floods. My front yard really becomes a small pond. I love running in the rain. Even though it's a big dangerous, I love swimming in the rain.

I love snow. My first kiss was in the snow. I love going sledding. I love building snow forts and having snowball fights with my brothers and sister. I love the way the snow sparkles when it is new. I used to pretend the ground was full of diamonds and crystals when I was a little girl. I love drinking hot cocoa while watching snow fall from my window. I love reading books when it is snowy outside.

I love sunshine. I love playing tennis, basketball, volleyball-basically any sport. I'll even add I love watching softball games. :) I love swimming. I love picnics. I love parks. I love playing with my nieces and nephews in the sandbox. I love the feeling of the sun on my face. I love the cheerfulness of the world when it is sunny. I love the beach. I love lying on the grass in the sun. I love the flowers. I love the trees.

I feel almost like I should be singing, "I love the mountains, I love the rolling hills. I love the flowers. I love the daffodils. I love the firesides when all the lights are low... boomdiyada, etc...."

Life is beautiful. I'm grateful for weather.

Happy Mother's Day

This is a tribute to my Mother

I grew up in a home of 6 boys and two girls. I have two parents who love their children and are still in love with each other. My Father is a doctor. He's a good doctor at that. My Mother is a homemaker-and a good one at that. :)

When I was a little girl, there was always something going on at my house. Either the boys had a soccer, basketball, baseball, wrestling, tennis, or football game/meet/match, or Mom had relief society meetings or Dad had scouts. It was always busy. It was loud. The boys wrestled with each other. They played sports in the house (which they weren't really supposed to do :) ). We had two pianos. One was upstairs and one was downstairs. They were always being used. I remember we used to fight over whose turn it was to play piano. Our fighting wasn't actually fighting. It was more like teasing and tickling until the person playing gave up. We could then play till the next sibling decided it was their turn and then the cycle began again. My home was busy. My home was loud. My home was fun.

Mealtime was always a favorite time of the day. It's not easy feeding 8 growing children - 6 of whom were boys. We used to go through 17 gallons of milk a week. That's not an exaggeration! We ate a lot of food. I loved waking up in the morning to the smell of poached eggs on toast or rice pudding or custard. Mom cooked breakfast, lunch and dinner. We were always fed well. Mom taught my sister and I how to cook. She would give us the assignment of making cream of wheat for breakfast. We read the instructions together. She taught us what certain terms meant. She taught me how to pour the cream of wheat in carefully so as not to make the cereal lumpy. I learned what she meant by lumpy after I finished the cereal. I was so proud of my lumpy cream of wheat.

That instilled the love of cooking. Not just cooking, but cooking for other people. We always had company over to eat dinner with us. Sunday dinners usually brought about 40 people to feed. If there was someone in the ward that Mom and Dad felt like we should get to know, they invited them over for dinner. They also went through the missionary dinner list and always invited the missionaries over for the days they didn't have a meal. I don't think we ever really had the money to do that. But, we did it anyway. Mom told me a story once about her Mom. Gammy and my Mom and her siblings had just gotten baptized. They moved from California to Provo, Utah where they had no money. One Sunday, they put a teeny tiny roast in the oven with a couple potatoes because that was all they had for dinner. When they came home from church though, Gammy told Mom to find some bread and see if they had any more food to put on the table. When my Mom asked why, Gammy said they had invited a new, young family over for dinner. Mom was perplexed. She said, "Mom, we don't even have enough for our own family - let alone this new family." Gammy told my Mom that the Lord would provide because He was the one that suggested inviting the family over. It was true. They had plenty of food for both families. The Lord truly does watch over my Mom. I have seen that my entire life.

My Mom has incredible faith. I really have never met a woman with more faith than my own Mother. She wrote a musical that changed people's lives even though she doesn't know how to write music. The Lord gave her that musical because she is a pure vessel with enough faith to see it through. When our family needed a new van for the ten of us, Mom decided what kind of van she wanted. She prayed for an 11 passenger van with a lot of room in the back for luggage and tents. She specified the price and asked if the van could be gray on the outside and Burgundy on the inside. The next day, she looked in the paper. It said there was a 15-passenger van for sale. The back seat had been lost so it was now an 11-passenger van and there was a ton of room in the back for luggage. It was gray on the outside with a Burgundy interior. The price was exactly the price-range my Mom had asked for. This is not an uncommon occurrence. If you knew my Mom, you would know this to be true. My sister in-law Brittany calls it "Gardner faith". You go for something relying completely on the Lord for it to happen. It's scary, but there's an inner peace knowing the Lord will take care of it. We learned it from our Mom.

My Mom is a friend. She is a friend to all of her children. She and Dad always waited up for us kids whenever we went out with friends or on dates. When we came home, she always asked us how it went. We felt safe talking to her because we knew she loved us no matter what happened. The same goes for my Dad. There were a lot of late nights. Especially with so many kids doing different things all the time.

Mom taught me through example to love the Lord completely. He is always there for you. He will always answer your prayers. He loves everyone and so should we. He understands you. I loved driving in the car with Mom when we could talk about gospel principles. I loved reading scriptures at 5:30 in the morning with my family before the boys had seminary and Dad had work. I loved having family council. I loved having family home evening. I loved singing songs with my family. We did that sometimes on Sundays and when we did dishes as a family. I love hearing my Mother pray. I can feel her connection with Heavenly Father. I love her testimony. I love hearing her teach. She and my Dad are the best teachers I have ever had. They truly are incredible.

I love my Mom's silly sense of humor. She loves puns. She loves to be silly. Her side of the family is a blast to be around because their humor is not sarcastic and it doesn't hurt anyone. They tell funny jokes and puns. They love silly word games. I think silly is a very good word to describe them. My Mom's mom writes children's books. They rhyme and are funny and "Suessish". :)

My Mom instilled a love of reading in me. I used to see her reading all the time and I decided I wanted to understand why she loved it so much. We went to the library together and checked out Nancy Drew books, Anne of Green Gables, Jane Austin, Charlotte and Emily Bronte, Charles Dickens. I LOVE reading. Thank you for that, Mom.

My Mom has lived in the Philippines, Mexico, all throughout the United States. She supported my Dad through medical school. She taught her children to love music. She taught her children to love each other. She taught her children to love other people - no matter what had happened to them or how they were. She taught her children to love the Lord and the gospel of Jesus Christ. My Mom is the most incredible woman I know. I feel honored to be known as Cristie Gardner's daughter.

"Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. "
"The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her... she will do him good and not evil all the days of her life."
"She girdeth her loins with strength, and it strengtheneth her arms."
"She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy."
"Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come."
"She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness."
"She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness."
"Her children arise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her."
"Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all."

My Mother is truly an "elect lady". I love her. Happy Mother's Day Mom.

A time for celebration!

Tonight, Audrey and I went out on the town. We both dressed up and went out to eat at a fancy restaurant. We decided we needed to celebrate. When people asked us what we were celebrating, we told them finals were over. But, that wasn't the real reason. It was more of a celebration of what we have learned about ourselves in the past year. It was a celebration of becoming women. It was a celebration of our realization of our own unique and wonderful talents and tastes that we have discovered. It was a celebration of our spiritual growth.

Audrey came home from a final, disappointed that she did not complete the reading. As a result, she will not receive an A in the class. She got 100% on every other assignment. She learned amazing things in the class. She internalized what she learned. She became a better person through the class. She put her whole heart into the class and wanted her grade to reflect that. As she came into my room with tears in her eyes, I held her. She could have still received an A, even though she did not complete the reading. She was honest. She evaluated herself and turned into the teacher that the reading was not complete. Ironic, I think, that the reason she will not receive an A in the class is because she internalized a principle she learned and put it to use. She would have hated the A she received had she put down a better reading score. That takes a lot of moral courage.

As I was reading my scriptures tonight, one verse in D&C caught my attention. I feel like I can safely insert the name 'Audrey' in the verse.

"And again, verily I say unto you, blessed is my servant Audrey; for I, the Lord, love her because of the integrity of her heart, and because she loveth that which is right before me, saith the Lord."
D&C 124:15

Finals

Finals. Just that one word fills most students hearts with dread. I won't lie. That includes me-most of the time. I had a final on Monday morning. 7:00 am on Monday morning to be exact. It was to be 3 hours long. My teacher is very intense. We had many papers, helped host a conference, memorized songs, practiced solfiege, learned how to play the recorder and autoharp and performed for our classmates, learned how to teach the blues to children, learned how to teach children, were chided if we did something in our 'practice" teaching that might hurt a child. We went to elementary schools and taught children song games. We observed teachers and their teaching methods and determined whether it was good for the children or not. This class was incredible. I learned so much about myself. I learned so much about children and how to build relationships of trust with them. I learned about the girls in my class. I have come to love each of them dearly. I have come to love and respect my teacher with all my heart. I value her opinion.

Our final this morning was bittersweet. We all have practiced for the last half of the semester, about 30 song games for children. We have also practiced recorder trio to perform at this final. We were to teach the song games and sing them to our classmates. We were to then sing them in solfiege. We had all practiced diligently and felt prepared for the test. When the test began, one by one we sang our songs and played our games. We had fun. I looked at each of the girls in my class and felt a strong love for them. A picture came to my mind of how we taught song games at the beginning of the year. Each of us have developed immensely. We are confident in our teaching of young children (at least when we practice on each other). We have each sat at the feet of our professor, ready and willing to partake of the knowledge she has to impart. We have loved her through her quirks and forgetfulness. We have loved her because of the passion she has for children which emanates in every class period. We have struggled together through difficult theory tests and laughed at their dumb jokes. We have talked about boys. We have been there for each other when there have been difficult break-ups. We have discussed the spiritual experience each of us had when choosing this major. For every one of us, it was a miracle.

When we finished the final, we all sat at our professors feet, anxious for more words of wisdom, but knowing the time had come to move on. She graced us with parting words of advice and told us she loves us and we must visit her. We will! We cried. We will! This was one final I am sorry to be done with.

Happy Birthday Dear Caitlin!

My sister's birthday was yesterday. She is officially 19 years old. I don't know why I put officially in that sentence. As opposed to being unofficially 19 years old? Weird. Anyway... she is an exceptional person. I want to tell you about my sister. Maybe this is more of a walk down memory lane.

When we were young, I used to read all the time. She would get very frustrated with me and wanted to play. There were 6 boys in my family and only two girls, so if I was occupied, that meant she had no one to play with. She would come sit by me while I read sometimes. Other times, she would try to get my attention nicely... and at other times she was downright obnoxious trying to get my attention. But in the end, I think she always won. I always stopped reading to play with her. Maybe not always... I think when I read any of Jane Austin or Little Women, I stayed and read. She is a very determined girl. :)

When I finally stopped reading, we played lots of things together. We played with Disney Dolls. Basically, they were the same as Barbies, but my Mom didn't like barbies and allowed us to play with Disney Dolls instead. We loved to play in our pasture outside. We used to go exploring. We would go to this old warehouse on our land and look at all the junk that was there. We had two creeks on our land and we would pick cattails and look at tadpoles. Sometimes we went to catch frogs with our little brother. We used to watch anthills. Ants are amazingly fast creatures, I decided. In the winter the four youngest kids in my family would dress up very warmly (face completely covered) and hook a sled up to the back of the truck. My Dad would then take us all around the land, pulling the sled behind. When we came back inside, we all got hot chocolate and sat next to a heater with a blanket on top to trap the heat inside. We would watch the snowflakes and study together that way. My older brother would always help us patiently with our math or reading. Sometimes when we sat there, my older brother and I would take turns reading stories out loud to Caitie and Nathaniel (Nate back then). We read things like Chronicles of Narnia and the Tennis Shoes series.

We got a little older. I graduated from primary and moved into Young Womens. I started doing strange things like shaving my legs and wearing make-up. I taught Caitie how to do those things before she was the acceptible age to do them. I think we had to be 12 to shave our legs and 14 to wear make-up. I felt bad when Caitie wasn't part of what I was doing, so I taught her how to do them and she followed. I got a little bit older and started doing even stranger things-like liking boys. I think Caitie watched with amusement as I spent more and more time getting ready because I liked some boy at mutual. We got a little bit older and I started going to church dances. This was the hardest separation yet. I didn't even want to go to dances without my younger sister. And she didn't want me to leave. We had always done fun things together. But, I went to dances with my older brother and he taught me how to dance. It was a good time for me. I started learning more about myself as a young woman and no longer a little girl. Caitie was starting to develop crushes. Holding hands was a big deal back then. :)

I remember one time that is very special to me. Caitie and I have always shared a room (except for the two years I went to college before her). This time was no exception. As we were laying in bed, Caitie was struggling with something. I don't remember what exactly. I put my arms around her and started singing-hoping it would console her. "Walk tall, you're a daughter, a child of God. Be strong, please remember who you are. Try to understand, you're part of His great plan. He's closer than you know. Reach up. He'll take your hand." By the end of the song, we both had tears streaming down our faces. Love isn't a strong enough word to describe the feeling we had in the room that night.

Years past and we moved from Montana to Ohio. I was 16 and Caitie was 14. The move was hard for all of us. But, we determined to make the best of it. Right away, Caitie had several admirers. I suppose all 3 of us younger children had admirers/friends right away. We became the "flavor of the month" as someone once said. Caitie had boys write her songs and poems and perform them for her. Boys came to help her paint the house-hoping through service they could win her affections. This has been the story of her life ever since. :)

All three of us younger children began karate lessons after we moved there. This was hard. Not so much for Caitie or Nathaniel. But it was for me. I didn't like hitting people. :) Our teacher was adamant that we hit to punch-none of this hitting a foot away from the person to make sure it doesn't hit them. If they got hit, it was their fault for not defending carefully. One night the 3 of us went to sparring night. The teacher put on loud, offensive music (to fit the mood) and put us each with partners. Caitie and I are similar sizes, so he put us together. We began hitting each other. Every time I hit her or she hit me, we started to cry. I was 16 and she was 14. We would fight each other with tears streaming down our faces. We weren't crying because it hurt physically. We were crying because it hurt our spirits to hit each other. It was traumatic. I didn't cry when I hit anyone else (except for Nathaniel).

About a year after we moved to Ohio, I started dating someone. Here was another change I couldn't make with Caitie. She was very patient with me through the whole ordeal. As I spent more time with my boyfriend, she spent more time with our youngest brother. She watched me struggle through my first boyfriend. And right after dating him, starting to date someone else. She dated lots of different boys throughout this time. I went to college right after that. Another change.

The first 2 years of college were hard for me. I hadn't been to public school since 3rd grade. I had never lived away from home except for EFY every summer. I became depressed. I lost who I was. I longed to feel the peace and comfort I had felt when I was a little girl playing in the fields with my siblings. Finally, Caitie decided to come to school with me. She helped me remember who I was. She helped me to see my strengths. She helped me to realize that Heavenly Father loves all of His children-including me. All of the little things that were such a part of me when I was little had been lost. Caitie helped me find them again. She helps me every day to remember a little more of who I am and who I can become. I am so grateful for her. I truly am blessed to not only be her friend, but to be her sister. Happy birthday my dear, dear sister. I love you ever so much.

"Sisters don't need words. They have perfected a language of snarls and smiles and frowns and winks... expressions of shocked surprise and incredulity and disbelief. Sniffs and snorts and gasps and sighs... that can undermine any tale you're telling." -Pam Brown

It was a joke... really

This might become a rambling blog entry. I just finished half of a crazy-hard final. The final was supposed to take 50 minutes. It took 1 1/2 hours. At the beginning of class an older woman who was taking the class brought in donuts to make the test a little more enjoyable. It was a worthy effort. It just didn't work. It was a music theory test. It was one of the most difficult tests I have ever taken. And that's only the first half! I'm in second-semester music theory. The tests are not supposed to be that difficult.

Sitting there in the hallway after we were kicked out of our room, you could feel the anger of all the students at our teacher. He's a grad student from some other university. I think he thinks that in order to feel like he's a good teacher, he needs to give us insanely difficult tests that are even harder than the tests that the typical music faculty give! That helps him to validate himself and feel important. One girl handed in her test and the only thing she said to him was ,"you're awful". One professor walked by and made a small joke. Everyone looked at him... more like stared at him. Not one laugh sounded, not one word was said, not even one smile was cracked. Finally the professor said, "It was a joke... really." We then could give him a small smile, grateful that he made the attempt at humor.

After I handed in my test, several of my friends and I went to lunch. We were still fuming about the test and how ridiculously hard it was. After we finished fuming, we determined one thing. We were grateful for it. We realized that next semester theory will be that much easier because this class was more difficult than it should have been. Anyway, it was an attempt at a positive attitute!

Some inspiring words

Things that Never Die

The pure, the bright,
The beautiful that stirred our hearts in youth.
The impulses to wordless prayer,
The streams of love and truth,
The longing after something lost,
The spirit's yearning cry,
The striving after better hopes,

These things can never die

The timid hand stretched forth to aid a sister in her need,
A kindly word in grief's dark hour that proves a friend indeed;
The plea for mercy softly breathed,
When justice threatens high,
The sorrow of a contrite heart;

These things shall never die

Let nothing pass, for every hand must find some work to do,
Lose not a chance to waken love;
Be firm and just and true,
So shall a light that cannot fade beam on thee from on high,
And angel voices say to thee;

These things can never die

~Charles Dickens

Good Quote

I heard a great quote today.

"The Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?"

That probably means that you do a little bit every day and not wait until the last minute so you have to do it all in one day. Hmm... Good lesson.

The oddest quartet

For the past week, I have had a huge project due in my Music Theory class. We were to write a four-part harmony and then transpose the parts to different instruments (including an E-flat saxophone). I began my first draft and when I heard the melody I wrote, I realized it sounded like the kind of song you would hear when there's a creepy ghost in a movie or something. I decided to revise it.

I wrote the first draft a week ago and didn't have time to revise it until this morning. :) Seeing as how it was due at 12:00, starting it this morning wasn't the best idea, but it worked. I finished the whole piece 10 minutes before class started. I walked into class and our "string quartet + 1" was there. We were going to have 2 violinists, a cellist, and a saxophonist. The problem was that one of the violinists did not show up for class. The class began brainstorming about how we would hear the second part. One girl said she could sing it. Another suggested playing it on the piano. But, my favorite was when my good friend from my elementary music ed class piped in, "I can play it on the recorder!" I laughed. I've never heard a quartet made up of violin, recorder, cello and saxophone. And I must say it is one of the most unique sounds I have ever heard. When everyone began tuning, they had to tune to the recorder. Can you imagine having a symphony tune to a recorder? It was very amusing.

The composition went well. I conducted the quartet and felt good about the performance. Mostly, it just feels good to have that composition out of the way.

Baleeted, delteated, del taco?

Today I have a 10-page paper due. I finished 6 pages of it last night and this morning I woke up at 6:00 to finish the paper before my class began. When I finished the 10th page, I pushed a link in Microsoft Word that ended up doing something very strange to my paper. It wasn't what I wanted so I clicked the red X at the top right-hand corner. Did I want to save the changes? The computer asked me. Of course not, I decided. So I clicked no. Away went my paper. Away went 3 more hours of typing. Hmm... I thought. I don't think this is what is supposed to happen right now.

I went immediately to the nice young men at the help desk and told them what happened. They looked at each other with a knowing glance. The glance wasn't a very optimistic glance. I had a twinge of concern enter my heart. One of the young men came over to my computer and after a going through a series of search engines, he looked at me and shook his head. I'm sorry I couldn't help, he said. Me too... me too. Too bad I'm not more like Homestarrunner. Who when receiving an email he did not like, tried to delete it. It would not disappear. Sometimes I wish I were a cartoon... :)

http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail50.html

Steak Dinners

I have two roommates who recently got engaged. This is very exciting and both of their fiance's are perfect for them! I just wanted to write a quick congratulations to both of them!!!

Conference Weekend

What an incredible weekend I had!! I performed in General Conference Saturday afternoon. I even got shown on the TV once! It was definitely an unforgettable experience. It was great for my family because they had someone to watch for in every conference session. My brother, Josh, is in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir (MOTAB) and they performed in 3 of the 5 sessions. I performed in 1 of the 5 and Caitie's friend performed in the Priesthood session. I've always wondered what it was like for the MOTAB to have 20,000 people singing at them from the congregation. I must say, that was my favorite part. The congregational hymn was absolutely amazing. Yay for singing in choirs. I love it!

Caitlin and Emilie's

Here is the long-awaited story. I'm actually just postponing my homework by writing this, but whatever works, right? Here goes.

Last week Women's Chorus had a concert. I felt it my duty to go around my ward and invite several people that I thought would appreciate it. My sister was kind enough to accompany me on the outing. We walked up some stairs and knocked on a door that we thought was 97... in actuality it was 99. I got nervous after we knocked and suggested we run-as we did not know the occupants of the apartment. Caitie, being the more sensible of the two, told me to come back and not be nervous. The door opened and some very kind young men invited us in to chat and sit on their couch. They asked us our names. "I'm Caitlin and this is Emilie." My sister answered. "What ward are you in?" They queeried. "149th". "Are you the Caitlin and Emilie from the 149th ward?" "Umm I suppose so. I don't think anyone else in our ward is named that." "It can't be you! You guys are famous in our ward. Wait... do you have a bulldog?"

As you can imagine this was starting to become a little disconcerting to Caitlin and myself as we had no idea what these boys were talking about. What have we done that could possibly make us famous in a ward we've never even visited before? The conversation continued, "Yes. we have a bulldog." "Was it ever stolen?" "Yes!!! What is going on here? Please tell us before we go mad." "We can't tell you." At this point the boys were blushing and laughing at the same time. "Yes... you MUST tell us." We replied. They told us to relate the story of our bulldog being stolen from our point of view. We told them what happened:

Over the summer, we had a bulldog on the hood of our truck. It was a hood ornament and we named him Stu-boy. One morning I woke up and went out to the truck. To my dismay, the bulldog was gone and in its' place was a ransome note for strawberry cheesecake or else the bulldog would suffer humiliation. I was saddened by this note. I was quite attached to Stu-boy. Caitie and I kept trying to figure out who it was that stole the bulldog. Finally, we figured it out and after delivering the cheesecake, we had our dear Stu-boy returned to his rightful place on our truck.

The boys started laughing again at this point saying the story they heard is a little bit different. This is what they relayed.

Either Caitie or I had a relationship with one of the boys involved in the dognapping. When the boy tried to kiss one of us, we denied him and he got upset. So upset, that he stole the dog off the truck with a ransome note telling us to kiss him. When we refused, he made little whitie-tities (white underwear-for those who may not know) for the dog and wrote on them "Caitlin and Emilie, 149th ward". The boy also put whitie-tities on and was dancing in his bedroom with the dog and both sets of underwear when his buddies from this other ward walked in and asked him what in the world he was doing. He sat down, embarrassed.

At this point, Caitie and I burst out in laughter. That's a very outragous story, I said. They boys continued laughing and blushing and said that was not all. They had made up a song to the story and also no longer referred to whitie-tities as whitie-tities. They were now called Caitlin and Emilie's. They said it was around several guys' apartments. They would go to a basketball game and say things like, "Dude, your Caitlin and Emilie's are showing", or, "Hey... ya got your Caitlin and Emilie's on?" The boys then performed a song and dance they had made up about Caitlin and Emilie's.

I really think it was one of the most modnar experiences I have had. I'm kind of nervous that the part about the underwear could be true. And because of that, I refuse to ask the guys who stole the dog if it is. There are some bits of information I would just rather not know. If you know what I mean...