Talents

The last month or so has been a very difficult one for me. The last two weeks have been even harder. This week has been the week from you-know-where! I don't think I've ever had so many feelings of despair, inadequacy and being just plain overwhelmed in my life. I have cried at least once every day this week. I have wondered if I am really good enough to go to Nauvoo. I've wondered if I'm prepared spiritually. I've wondered how on earth I'll ever prepare physically (moving, exercise after breaking my feet, etc...). I've wondered how to prepare academically (finals are this week). Every possible self-defeating thought I could possibly think has entered my mind more than once. And they are often entering my mind at the same time. I don't know how to do everything I need to do! I worry, I pray, I cry, I worry, I pray, I cry... You get the picture! It has just been difficult and I haven't really found peace with the whole idea.

Last Sunday I felt a little bit of peace in my life. Sacrament meeting was all about missionary work. We have several people leaving on missions in my ward and one of them gave a talk about the temple. She talked about her testimony and all she has learned. The Bishop then called up random people from the ward to share their testimonies of the gospel with the congregation. I don't know how, but it seemed each of them had something to say specifically for me. I cried through the whole Sacrament Meeting (it's rather difficult to play piano when you're crying!).

The most comforting thing was said in Sunday School. I don't even know if the teacher meant it this way, but we were talking about the law of consecration and he asked this question: "How would your outlook change if you really took into account that EVERYTHING is the Lord's?" He then listed some things on the board to think about and answer. One of the things he put up was talents. How would our thoughts about talents change if everything was the Lord's? The first way I took it was that I need to work harder and make sure I dedicate all of my talent to Him and make sure I am doing all that I do in His name. But then this other thought crept in. If my talent is really the Lord's talent, then it is enough. It is more than enough. It is exactly what He wants me to have and He will use it to better His kingdom because my talent really is the Lord's talent.

I'm tearing up as I type this because this has been weighing on my mind so much lately. By myself, I know I would not be able to do Nauvoo. If my talents were my own, I would not be enough. Because my talent is the Lord's talent, I will do enough and I will do His will. And I will do all in my power to better His kingdom.

I know the gospel of Jesus Christ is true. I know Joseph Smith was a prophet of God. I know President Monson is our prophet today. How blessed we are to have this knowledge. How blessed we are to be able to serve our Lord and thank Him in small ways. I am so grateful for the opportunity to go to Nauvoo and I pray with all of my energy and heart that I will humble myself and give myself to Him completely so I truly can better His kingdom and do His will in Nauvoo.

Conference

Saturday afternoon I overheard this conversation on Caitie's phone, "Hello Adam!" "We're coming later tonight" "You miss me? I miss you too!" "All right I'll see you tonight!" Right after the second session I overheard another phone call on Caitie's phone, "Hello Joseph!" "You're already there?" "We'll be there in 40 minutes!" Both of the nephews had called wondering when Caitie and I were going to show up. It's so fun to be missed!! We promptly left to go partake of the tradition we've made of watching conference at Josh and Mel's home. It consists of children, food, late nights, food, children, and watching conference. Did I mention food? :) We always have a blast and it always so fun to see everyone and hang out for the weekend!

This year Conference was extremely wonderful. It's my haven during a busy time. I love hearing the words of the prophets. I love how they seem to pertain just to me and everyone I talk to feels the same. I love how strong and beautiful the testimonies are. This year I had a keen awareness of just how much I have to work on. I need to strengthen my testimony and obey the commandments more fully. In addition to the thoughts of what I need to work on, I felt so much hope. I felt so much love and faith.

It was such a beautiful conference and I'm so excited to continue to listen and study the words as they come out on the internet and read them in the ensign. The Church is so true! I am so grateful to be a part of it!

Temple!

Conference was amazing this year. One of my favorite parts was when Melodie made up a game for the kids. She wrote down key words on strips of paper and put them in a bowl. Each of the children picked a strip of paper and every time one of the General Authorities said that word, they could get a handful of popcorn. The children got so excited!! Rachel picked the word temple and during Elder Bednar's talk, she got a lot of popcorn! It was so much that Melodie let the other kids get popcorn when they heard that word too! It turned into a wonderful game and the kids were focused on General Conference. Way to go Mel!

I really love General Conference! I love our tradition of going to Josh and Mel's. You guys are awesome!

Rachel stuffing her face with popcorn! :) So cute!! (Do you love her hair??)

Temple! I heard temple!!

Follow up

A little follow up... Engaged just got a letter from Provo City saying that Dishes was being charged and Engaged could get retribution if she wanted.  So crazy!