Happy Birthday Dear Caitlin!

My sister's birthday was yesterday. She is officially 19 years old. I don't know why I put officially in that sentence. As opposed to being unofficially 19 years old? Weird. Anyway... she is an exceptional person. I want to tell you about my sister. Maybe this is more of a walk down memory lane.

When we were young, I used to read all the time. She would get very frustrated with me and wanted to play. There were 6 boys in my family and only two girls, so if I was occupied, that meant she had no one to play with. She would come sit by me while I read sometimes. Other times, she would try to get my attention nicely... and at other times she was downright obnoxious trying to get my attention. But in the end, I think she always won. I always stopped reading to play with her. Maybe not always... I think when I read any of Jane Austin or Little Women, I stayed and read. She is a very determined girl. :)

When I finally stopped reading, we played lots of things together. We played with Disney Dolls. Basically, they were the same as Barbies, but my Mom didn't like barbies and allowed us to play with Disney Dolls instead. We loved to play in our pasture outside. We used to go exploring. We would go to this old warehouse on our land and look at all the junk that was there. We had two creeks on our land and we would pick cattails and look at tadpoles. Sometimes we went to catch frogs with our little brother. We used to watch anthills. Ants are amazingly fast creatures, I decided. In the winter the four youngest kids in my family would dress up very warmly (face completely covered) and hook a sled up to the back of the truck. My Dad would then take us all around the land, pulling the sled behind. When we came back inside, we all got hot chocolate and sat next to a heater with a blanket on top to trap the heat inside. We would watch the snowflakes and study together that way. My older brother would always help us patiently with our math or reading. Sometimes when we sat there, my older brother and I would take turns reading stories out loud to Caitie and Nathaniel (Nate back then). We read things like Chronicles of Narnia and the Tennis Shoes series.

We got a little older. I graduated from primary and moved into Young Womens. I started doing strange things like shaving my legs and wearing make-up. I taught Caitie how to do those things before she was the acceptible age to do them. I think we had to be 12 to shave our legs and 14 to wear make-up. I felt bad when Caitie wasn't part of what I was doing, so I taught her how to do them and she followed. I got a little bit older and started doing even stranger things-like liking boys. I think Caitie watched with amusement as I spent more and more time getting ready because I liked some boy at mutual. We got a little bit older and I started going to church dances. This was the hardest separation yet. I didn't even want to go to dances without my younger sister. And she didn't want me to leave. We had always done fun things together. But, I went to dances with my older brother and he taught me how to dance. It was a good time for me. I started learning more about myself as a young woman and no longer a little girl. Caitie was starting to develop crushes. Holding hands was a big deal back then. :)

I remember one time that is very special to me. Caitie and I have always shared a room (except for the two years I went to college before her). This time was no exception. As we were laying in bed, Caitie was struggling with something. I don't remember what exactly. I put my arms around her and started singing-hoping it would console her. "Walk tall, you're a daughter, a child of God. Be strong, please remember who you are. Try to understand, you're part of His great plan. He's closer than you know. Reach up. He'll take your hand." By the end of the song, we both had tears streaming down our faces. Love isn't a strong enough word to describe the feeling we had in the room that night.

Years past and we moved from Montana to Ohio. I was 16 and Caitie was 14. The move was hard for all of us. But, we determined to make the best of it. Right away, Caitie had several admirers. I suppose all 3 of us younger children had admirers/friends right away. We became the "flavor of the month" as someone once said. Caitie had boys write her songs and poems and perform them for her. Boys came to help her paint the house-hoping through service they could win her affections. This has been the story of her life ever since. :)

All three of us younger children began karate lessons after we moved there. This was hard. Not so much for Caitie or Nathaniel. But it was for me. I didn't like hitting people. :) Our teacher was adamant that we hit to punch-none of this hitting a foot away from the person to make sure it doesn't hit them. If they got hit, it was their fault for not defending carefully. One night the 3 of us went to sparring night. The teacher put on loud, offensive music (to fit the mood) and put us each with partners. Caitie and I are similar sizes, so he put us together. We began hitting each other. Every time I hit her or she hit me, we started to cry. I was 16 and she was 14. We would fight each other with tears streaming down our faces. We weren't crying because it hurt physically. We were crying because it hurt our spirits to hit each other. It was traumatic. I didn't cry when I hit anyone else (except for Nathaniel).

About a year after we moved to Ohio, I started dating someone. Here was another change I couldn't make with Caitie. She was very patient with me through the whole ordeal. As I spent more time with my boyfriend, she spent more time with our youngest brother. She watched me struggle through my first boyfriend. And right after dating him, starting to date someone else. She dated lots of different boys throughout this time. I went to college right after that. Another change.

The first 2 years of college were hard for me. I hadn't been to public school since 3rd grade. I had never lived away from home except for EFY every summer. I became depressed. I lost who I was. I longed to feel the peace and comfort I had felt when I was a little girl playing in the fields with my siblings. Finally, Caitie decided to come to school with me. She helped me remember who I was. She helped me to see my strengths. She helped me to realize that Heavenly Father loves all of His children-including me. All of the little things that were such a part of me when I was little had been lost. Caitie helped me find them again. She helps me every day to remember a little more of who I am and who I can become. I am so grateful for her. I truly am blessed to not only be her friend, but to be her sister. Happy birthday my dear, dear sister. I love you ever so much.

"Sisters don't need words. They have perfected a language of snarls and smiles and frowns and winks... expressions of shocked surprise and incredulity and disbelief. Sniffs and snorts and gasps and sighs... that can undermine any tale you're telling." -Pam Brown