May 8, 2010 London!

Saturday, I went a concert by the Belmont Ensemble of London at St. Martin-in-the-fields. It's an incredible venue. I walked in and was completely awestruck by everything I could see. The high ceiling, the gold ornate decorations, the statues everywhere. It all takes my breath away. I sat right at the front next to the orchestra in these very old benches. :) The choir performed some incredible pieces!!!! We heard Handel's "Zadok the Priest" and a newly discovered "Gloria" by Handel as well. They also sang the final scenes from "Dido and Aeneas" by Purcell. We had an 'interval' of 20 minutes and then heard Mozart's "Ave Verum Corpus" and his "Requiem". Everything was so beautiful I'm having a hard time describing how I felt.

Another thing I love about being here is that everyone is just as nerdy (if not more so) than me! Chris and I walked out of the concert wanting to sing. So we did. We sang through the streets of London. We discussed what we liked and didn't like about the concert. We talked about the conductors techniques. (London conductors are so completely different than any American conductor I've ever seen). We talked about how clear the sopranos were. I thought it was interesting that the choir had 8 sopranos and only 5 altos. At BYU, we tend to have twice as many altos (if not more) than sopranos to even out all the parts because the higher register is clearer and easier to hear.

Some notes on the music I heard and also how they performed it. :) I felt that even though there were many more sopranos than altos (same with tenor and bass, but someone else mentioned it. I tend to tune into female voices more), I didn't feel like the sopranos were too much. I really liked the sound. I was so impressed with the choir. Everyone was on top of everything. The pitch was impeccable. There weren't many choir members but their sound was full and loud and it surprised me. They also had very healthy voices. In the Gloria, I was so impressed with the soprano soloist. I want to be like her when I grow up!! She hit the high notes so effortlessly. She had a nice clear tone at the beginning and then let a little bit of shimmer in toward the end of the note. It was gorgeous. The instruments were wonderful. I loved the sound of the orchestra. In the Purcell, I noticed that not only did the singers have incredible voices, but their facial expressions were perfect for the pieces. When the music was sad, they were sad. When the music was joyful, they were joyful. I loved watching that so closely. Ok, so my favorite part of the concert was the Mozart Requiem. It was so incredible. While I was listening, I was so overcome with emotion. This is what I wrote on my program, "The Mozart Requiem takes me outside of myself. I feel like I'm in Heaven. The amazing sounds of the choir, orchestra and the soloists strengthen my testimony of Heavenly Father and the miracles He brings about in my life." Can you tell I really enjoyed that concert? :) It was amazing.

London May 8th :)

My very first blog entry! And I must say I LOVE LONDON!!!!!!! This city is gorgeous! It's packed with personality, history and culture. Wow. It's amazing!

I flew in Yesterday. It was a grueling flight. I took some sleeping stuff but it didn't work very well so I only ended up sleeping three hours for that entire flight. Heather and I met up and flew with several other people. We played 5 crowns in the airport while we waited for our flight. Then we arrived in London. We walked about a mile to our flat which was actually a rather amusing experience. We had about 10 of us with our BYU travel study backpacks and luggage, hauling them all over London. It was fanjollytastic!

When we got to our flats, we checked in and unpacked. I realized I have forgotten several crucial things - including my phone charger. :( I will only be able to take pictures until my camera runs out of batteries. Ugh! lol Good thing we have some super picture takers in the group!!

After we unpacked, we took a walk about London with one of our professors. We realized that we live right across the street from Kensington Palace which is where Princess Diana lived as well as many other famous royalty in England. Do you remember when Princess Diana died and they had all those flowers next to the fence near her home? We live right next to it!! Crazy!! We have an amazing location. During the walkabout, we saw TK Maxx :) as well as The Gap and Pizza Hut. They glorify them quite a bit and that's pretty amusing.

Heather, Phillip and I went to the Whole Foods Market to buy some groceries for a few days. Heather and I bought porridge, berries, yogurt, milk, bread, cheese and peppermint tea. Um... cheese here is amazing!!!!! As is the bread. I love it so much!

After we went to the market, Heather, Phillip, Matt, Logan and I went to a local pub to get some fish and chips. It was delicious. We were definitely very American in the pub. :) I was the third person in our group to order my supper and when I got to the front of the line the cashier said in a very british accent, "Let me guess, are you from table 16?" (all of us Americans were sitting there) It was really cute. We all got some juice and I thought they had put vodka in mine so I returned it and asked them to not put vodka in my juice and it turned out it was just grapefruit juice :). I was a little bit embarrassed.

We went to a YSA dance for a few minutes with the locals when we got back from fish and chips. It was super fun!

Last night I had a very hard time sleeping. I went to bed at 10:30 and then woke up at 1:30 and couldn't sleep until I took a whole bunch of melatonin for sleep, then I slept until 4:00 with a girl frantically knocking on the door because her roommate had had a seizure. She's diabetic and it was just a really hard night. We called an ambulance and they took her to the emergency room last night. She's doing all right now but we were quite worried for a bit.

Today!!! I walked around London with a bunch of friends. We went to the farmer's market where I had bread with all sorts of different tasting olive oils. I also sampled tons of cheese and mushroom patte which I love! I had fish and chips again! We saw Big Ben, Westminster Abby and walked on London Bridge. Tonight we are going to listen to Mozart's Requiem by candlelight at St. Martin's. Then tomorrow we are going to go to several different church services as well as our own.

London is gorgeous and I love it!

Mother's Day - I love you Mom!

Dear Mom,

I was supposed to make this into a book before I left for London, but I didn't have the time. I figured this was the next best thing. :) I love you so much!!

Love,

Em

My Dearest Mom,

I remember when I was little and you loved to read. Watching how much you loved reading made me want to read too. I called you Marmee after I read Little Women. I talked to you about Anne of Green Gables for days while I fell in love with Gilbert Blythe. I read on my bed that was next to the window during the summer and then at night when I was supposed to be asleep in bed, I crept into my closet, turned on the light and stuffed a blanket at the bottom of the door so you wouldn't be able to see the light from the outside.

Thank you for teaching me to love to read. It is still one of my most favorite things to do.

I remember...

when I used to call your name and you didn’t answer. I would look all over for you and finally would go into your room only to find you on your knees pouring your heart out to Heavenly Father. I wanted to know why you wouldn’t even be distracted by your young daughter, so I learned to pray. I learned to pray and pour my heart out to Heavenly Father.

I have never forgotten that lesson. And I pray I never will.

I remember love.

There was never a specific lesson. Everything you do is love, Mom. In every thought, every word, every prayer, every deed. You love me when I don’t love myself. You love me when I do! You love people no matter what shape, size or smell. You love unconditionally.

I am learning every day how to love because of you.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom.

I love you so much!

Love,

Emilie

London

Oh yeah... I'm going to London in 2 weeks from tomorrow. I'm kind of excited about that. :)

The trip includes:

• Singing mass and vespers with Oxbridge
• Going to concerts of many of the most famous choirs in England
• Living at Hyde Park which is near the Kensington Gardens
• Seeing as many musicals and concerts as I can possibly have time to see

Ok... so they haven't told us everything we are going to do. It's just super exciting and as soon as we have any kind of itinerary, I will let you know what the London part includes. However, after we are done with the London study... we are going to:

• Take the chunnel to Paris
• Go to Notre Dame and attend Mass and Vespers
• Take a walk around Paris
• Fly to Scotland
• Tour Edinbourgh
• Stay at wonderful cottages in the country

I'm a little bit excited. Ok... a lot a bit excited!!!!!

Snowflakes

This is a poem I read on my fridge when I moved into my apartment and I want to remember it always. I love the idea of it. :)

Although a simple snowflake to you

is all I seem,

Please take me hoe and hang me

where I may be seen.

I'll remind you of the blessings that

come from heaven's way.

Just like the little snowflakes

upon a winter day.

Each snowflake is unique in shape,

design, and size,

Just as our blessings differ to fit our

needs and lives.

One solitary snowflake would hardly

make a mound,

But when they fall in millions, they

cover all the ground.

One solitary blessing might seem

rather small,

But God sends down so many, it's

hard to count them all.

We need the lovely snowflakes to

give moisture to the earth.

We need our Father's blessings to

help us know our worth.

So when you think of snowflakes,

think of blessings, too.

And that Heavenly Father's kindness,

is sending both to you.

Oh Remember

Today I remember Nauvoo.

I opened my scriptures this morning and found the flowers I pressed from the beautiful gardens in Nauvoo. As I looked at the colors captured forever in my Book of Mormon, a flood of memories came into my mind.

I remember walking through the groves in the morning right after the sun came up. The dew on the leaves glistened in the new sun. The birds chirped their happy songs about Nauvoo. The pioneers told their stories on the plaques as I walked through the groves.

I remember being roommates with four girls (two of whom were my companions). We giggled. We bore our testimonies to each other (sometimes in our sleep!). We talked about life, love, and the gospel that made us one.

I remember my Mission President and his wife. I went on weekly drives with Sister Ludwig. We talked about faith. We talked about pioneers. We talked about my Savior Jesus Christ.

I remember singing my testimony of Joseph Smith and Hyrum every day. Sometimes I was so overcome with the spirit, the tears streamed down my face and it was everything I could do to even speak the words. They were no ordinary men.

I remember all the sisters walking around in our slips before Sunset by the Mississippi. Imagine 10 girls all in the kitchen cooking different meals in their companionships! Somehow it always worked and we loved each other. :) Even though it was cramped.

I remember at the beginning, the sisters went around each night and chose a different sister to tell all the gifts we had each seen in her. The night that is was my turn was one of the most humbling nights of my life. The Lord truly placed each of us there at that time for a reason. I love those women with all of my heart. And I always will.

I remember the miracle of my feet.

I remember genuinely laughing so hard my face and stomach hurt every day. I also remember smiling so much my face hurt every day.

I remember posing for pictures. I remember little girls looking at me with the same look in their eyes that I had when I looked at the sisters that served when my brothers were YPM's.

I remember the Lord telling me several times a day that He loves me. I remember Him telling me I need to tell others that He loves them through my performing. And now today, through my genuine happiness in life.

I remember bearing my testimony in the 70's hall. I remember singing with Sister Elbert "Nauvoo" to someone from The Community of Christ Church. I remember them crying. I remember crying too.

I remember incredible talks with each of the sisters at different times. We all loved the Lord. We all did everything we could to serve as much as we could.

I remember my two incredible companions. I was so blessed.

I remember my family. I can't tell you how many times I received a letter with something in it that I needed that day. I laughed. I cried. I was humbled by the sacrifices my family made to have me on that mission. I remember them coming to Nauvoo. I remember being so proud to have them there! I wanted to show my family off to everyone! I wanted to show everyone and everything off to my family! I remember asking Bekah if she knew who Joseph Smith was. Her cousins reminded her and then we talked about President Monson being the prophet today. I remember Bekah bearing her sweet testimony, "Yeah, President Monson lives far away, but Jesus lives in our hearts. And I'm hungry."

I remember Alina's baptism. The spirit was so strong that day.

I remember Nathaniel walking into the church and me crying as soon as I saw him. I loved being a missionary with Nathaniel.

I remember reading the Book of Mormon every chance I could. If I was off stage for ten minutes, I was in the back reading my scriptures with the nightlight they had. I remember feeling the spirit burning strong as I read about ancient prophets.

I remember getting my black eye. I ran back stage to pick up my prop, bent down and my eye met the podium. I ran back on stage with my face throbbing but I was smiling and singing and dancing just the same. Two hours later, everyone was a little shocked at how purple my eye was. :)

I remember being worried that I wouldn't feel the spirit again after Nauvoo. I remember Dad giving me a blessing promising that I could and would depending on my faithfulness.

The gospel of Jesus Christ is true. This morning, I opened my scriptures and remembered.

"These things have I spoken unto you, being yet present with you.

“But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.”5

The key to the remembering that brings and maintains testimony is receiving the Holy Ghost as a companion. It is the Holy Ghost who helps us see what God has done for us. It is the Holy Ghost who can help those we serve to see what God has done for them.

Heavenly Father has given a simple pattern for us to receive the Holy Ghost not once but continually in the tumult of our daily lives. The pattern is repeated in the sacramental prayer: We promise that we will always remember the Savior. We promise to take His name upon us. We promise to keep His commandments. And we are promised that if we do that, we will have His Spirit to be with us.6 Those promises work together in a wonderful way to strengthen our testimonies and in time, through the Atonement, to change our natures as we keep our part of the promise.

It is the Holy Ghost who testifies that Jesus Christ is the Beloved Son of a Heavenly Father who loves us and wants us to have eternal life with Him in families. With even the beginning of that testimony, we feel a desire to serve Him and to keep His commandments. When we persist in doing that, we receive the gifts of the Holy Ghost to give us power in our service. We come to see the hand of God more clearly, so clearly that in time we not only remember Him, but we come to love Him and, through the power of the Atonement, become more like Him."

President Eyring

I am eternally grateful for my memories. I pray that I may always remember what things the Lord has done for me in my life. And always remember the testimony I have received of His love.

"Tonight, and tomorrow night, you might pray and ponder, asking the questions: Did God send a message that was just for me? Did I see His hand in my life or the lives of my children? I will do that. And then I will find a way to preserve that memory for the day that I, and those that I love, will need to remember how much God loves us and how much we need Him. I testify that He loves us and blesses us, more than most of us have yet recognized. I know that is true, and it brings me joy to remember Him. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen."

President Eyring

Happy birthday to me.

In the last week I have:

• Gone to the temple 3 times
• Had 7 very crucial and emotional conversations with different people
• Written and turned in an 11-page paper
• Gone to 7 choir rehearsals
• Have practiced for 7 hours
• Taught 2 lessons in the public school
• Gone to 3 different parties - one of them for me!
• Gone on 2 dates
• Gone out to eat... too many times
• Gone to the opera
• Written 3 very long and overwhelming lesson plans for different subjects
• Watched 10 episodes of I Love Lucy
• Watched Extraordinary Measures (very good movie, by the way)
• Watched 5 episodes of The Office
• Played Boggle, Scrabble, Word Twist, and Yahtzee
• Bought 2 shirts
• Gone without a car
• Spent time with my family
• Been sung "hello" to by primary children
• Been sung "You've Had a Birthday" to by primary children (thank you, Jeff and Caitie!) lol
• Laughed
• Cried
• Vegged
• Worked too hard
• Loved
• Been loved

In the last week I have turned 25. Weird.

Getting better and better!

The positives and negatives of today.

- I woke up late
- I was late for class
- My teacher for that class is a terrible teacher! (I find that really amusing because she's teaching us how to teach and I don't agree with most of what she says or how she's teaching it.) I honestly sit in class and analyze how bad her teaching is. It's how I amuse myself.
- I've been emotional for a few days and this morning didn't help
- After class, my two professors ganged up on me (maybe not... it just felt like they did) and told me I couldn't teach music during my practicum. They were also frustrated about my being in Women's Chorus
- I haven't found a way to pay for London yet and I have a financial hold on my account at school
- Classes are overwhelming and I don't know how to get it all done
- Women's Chorus was terrible today. No one was paying attention and no one could count the music!

+ I got ready in a 1/2 hour
+ A good friend held my hand while I cried
+ The devotional today was about Nauvoo and they showed the house I lived in and the temple
+ I made a new friend while waiting for my dinner. Her Mom just passed away and she had a beautiful testimony
+ I wheeled my friend to his next class. He started having siezures randomly at the beginning of the semester and since he blacked out two days ago he's been in a wheelchair. He is a strong person. Little did he know that he made my day.
+ My Mom loaned me money to pay off my financial holds so now my financial aid can go through
+ I deposited money into the bank
+ I saw a beautiful baby sleeping
+ People smiled and said hello to me
+ The weather was perfect
+ I talked to my brother on the phone
+ Heavenly Father answered my prayers

What a beautiful beautiful day

:)

This morning I heard two amazing stories that make me excited to teach. :)

Story #1
Teaching in Provo, Utah has some very special experiences unique to the area. One morning a teacher was teaching about the Presidents of the United States. She held up a penny and asked the students who the picture on the front was (they were quite young). All the children yelled out, "It's President Hinckley!" She then turned the penny around and asked them if they knew what building it was on the back. They replied, "It's a temple!"

Story #2
This one comes from Aunt Mellie/Amber through my Mom. Amber has four little boys and one of them threw a cucumber on the ground. The next oldest boy told the little one that he can't do that because he shouldn't throw zucchini's down on the ground. The next oldest after that said, "That's not a zucchini!! Zucchini's are what girls wear!"

I love it!

Eww!! Gross!!!!!!!!

As many of you know, I am going to school full-time again this semester. Last semester was an awesome break but it feels good to be back in the swing of things. I am taking a science class and so far it's been really fun. However... we have this life science project where we have to go buy some creepy crawly thing and keep it in our house to observe it throughout the semester. The options were:

madagascar hissing cockroaches

Or crickets

Or Giant Millipedes

Or millworms

We chose millworms. I'm sorry if this upset any of your stomaches... it did the same to me. Just know what I'm going through to teach your children!

STOMP + what a night

Mom came into town a couple days ago and came to devotional (which I was singing in). She also took me to lunch, DI and then came to Women's Chorus! It was such a fun day! She mentioned that she was going to see STOMP with Nathaniel that night and when she told me that, I honestly was a little more than a little disappointed.

I have wanted to watch STOMP since I was 14 years old! I watched this awesome video of them and then when we went to New York, I really wanted to see them there. Alas, when we got there to see if they had another ticket, we found out it was sold out. Huge bummer!! When Mom and I picked up Nathaniel that night, I asked him if he really understood what a privilege it was to see STOMP because if he didn't... I should go. He did understand. I ended up going and putting myself on the waiting list to get a ticket if there were extras. If you don't know how amazing STOMP is... here is a sample:



Ok... so back to the story. I waited for about twenty minutes and during that time, my friend (whom I will call Fred) started texting me. Finally, about 5 minutes before the show started, they had a ticket for me! I was so stoked! I told my friend I was going to watch the show. And then I started looking for my debit card. It was nowhere to be found! Agh!! I hurriedly texted Mom (who was already in the show with Nathaniel). When she didn't reply immediately, I texted again, "I need help!". Right as Mom came outside this other woman came to the counter and handed them two tickets that she wanted to give out for free! I was the next in line so they gave me both tickets!! Well, it was just me there at the show and since I was already texting Fred, I called him and asked if he wanted to come. He did. We went in and watched one of the most incredible shows ever.

After the show, Mom and Nathaniel left and Fred and I talked for a while in my car because we hadn't seen each other for about a month or so. We just caught up on Christmas, and everything else going on in our lives in the last month. This friend and I tend to enjoy backscratches so as we were talking, we gave each other backscratches. Well, around 11:00 Mom pulled up in her car right next to us and here we are 2 hours after the show ended and we're scratching each others' backs in the parking lot of the show. Now... how would you feel about this? It looks really bad to your Mom. It also looks bad to Fred because here is your Mom checking up on you when you're 24 years old. :) Funny huh?

Well, it turns out Mom hadn't read the text that said, "I need help" until she was on the freeway on her way home. She called me and I didn't answer because my phone was still off from the concert. So she called me about ten times and I didn't answer. She texted me several times as well. Each text getting a little more frantic as the night went on. She went to my apartment, she called Nathaniel. Nathaniel called me. Of course I didn't hear his calls either. So he tried to find Fred's number to call him. Mom ended up retracing the road to the show from my apartment and then found my car.

When she finally found us, I called her and asked her what was up. She didn't really communicate her worry... she just asked if I wanted to go get some ice cream with her. Fred and I decided to go and we met her at Baskin Robins. It was there that she told us everything that had happened and how worried she had been.

We all had a good laugh. I felt terrible for all the worry I had caused. But I'm still laughing as I write down this story. Definitely a keeper. :)

Yes sir!

Included in the typical questions asked at the beginning of every semester is "what classes are you taking this semester"? This is a really boring question to which they receive a very boring answer... Science, Social Studies, Math, Literacy, Fundamentals of teaching, 2 practicums, London study abroad prep, Women's Chorus and... MILITARY FITNESS. Boring right? :) Absolutely not! This is going to be an awesome semester. I can already feel it. In every muscle in my body.

Yes. I am choosing to take this class. No. It is not required for elementary music specialists. I got introduced to the idea by Sister Butikofer from Nauvoo. She took it last semester and when I saw her I couldn't believe how awesome she looked! I asked her what she was doing and she said she just went to PT three times a week. I was sold. I signed up for the class and I actually really love it.

I have a squad. I, Emilie Anne Gardner, musician, dancer, and teacher, am in a squad. In the Army. Weird. I have a position in my squad. I am a second first, which means I am in the second squad in the first row. When I have questions I ask my teacher, Sargeant Master Voight. Don't forget that he is Sargeant Master. He's not Sargeant, Lieutenant, General or Master. He is Sargeant Master. I yell a lot. I don't actually know what everyone around me is yelling so I just raise my voice until everyone else is done and then I stop. Hopefully I'll be able to understand the words soon.

I work out. Hard. Three times a week. After the first day my muscles hurt so much I couldn't do my hair. We did as many army pushups as we could in thirty seconds, then as many army situps as we could in thirty seconds. Then we ran laps and did more pushups and more situps and this other exercise for triceps that is from hell. Really it is. My arms hurt more last week than they ever have in my life. The second day of class was the dreaded PT test. Luckily I'm not contracted in the army so I didn't have to necessarily pass anything. They were just going to test me and see how much better I got at the end of the semester. We were supposed to do as many pushups as we could in two minutes. Keep in mind that on Monday my arms were worked out fairly thoroughly... I did 5 army pushups. I did 5 whole army pushups!!! I know it sounds ridiculous, but I am completely proud of my 5 pushups. They were in good form. I was shaking, but I did 5. (Never mind the fact that the numbers all around me were in the 60's and 70's...) We also did as many situps as we could in 2 minutes. I did 15!!! I was so pleased!! We then ran 2 miles as fast as we could. My knee started hurting so I only did a mile and a half. But I did a mile and a half!

This week has started out a little better. :) I ran a couple miles this morning and did more pushups and situps. I am excited to see what this semester brings. Yes sir!

My Gammy - A Tribute to an Amazing Woman

I've been avoiding this simply because I don't want to cry. With that said, here is my attempt at letting the world know how amazing my Gammy is.

When I was growing up my family would go visit Gammy every time we came to Utah which was quite frequently. She was always excited to see us. She gave us wonderful hugs and would ask us individually what was going on in our lives. I remember swinging on the tire swing in her back yard. I think it was under the apple tree. She would take us out to her garden to show us what she was growing. She grew wonderful fruits and vegetables and always sent us home with fresh produce from her garden. I remember her showing us her favorite roses from her rose garden as well.

Gammy was an artist. She would draw her favorite roses in a little sketch book with colored pencils. She actually inspired me to do the same thing when I was younger. My Mom gave me a book of different kinds of flowers and I would find my favorite flowers, do a report and draw a picture like Gammy. Gammy stitched really incredible cross-stitch patterns. We had them hanging up all over our house when I was younger. Now that I am older, I have a picture of the Savior that Gammy cross-stitched for me. It reminds me of her and of her testimony of Christ. I also remember Gammy's dresses she made for Caitie and me when we were little girls. They were the kinds of dresses every little girl wants to have. They had big full skirts, lots of lace and frills, and they made me feel like a princess. She made me a stuffed bunny and clothes for my stuffed bunny. Gammy also painted nativity sets for my family. They are exquisite and will be in our family for generations to come.

Gammy wrote children's books. They are witty and fun. As my Mom and my Aunt were cleaning through her house, they found a huge stack of rejection letters. Gammy persisted though and published 6 children's books. Those books are:

Sneezles and Wheezles

My Tiny Book of Prayer

My Tiny Book of Tithing

My Tiny Book of Family

My Tiny Book of Joseph Smith

My Tiny Book of Christmas

When we visited Gammy she would take out her big book of books in progress and read us her latest story. I remember her voice. I will remember her voice my whole life. And I will read to my children the books my Gammy read to me.

Gammy won awards for her creativity. She won two cars, thousands of dollars, new wardrobes, a trip to Hawaii and others that I don't remember. She came up with jingles and advertising for different companies.

The most important thing I will remember about my Gammy is her fervent testimony. She has a personal relationship with her Savior Jesus Christ and she made sure her children knew it. She and her children were converts to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Before Gammy knew about The Word of Wisdom, she drank 14 cups of coffee a day. When the missionaries told her about The Word of Wisdom, she stopped cold turkey and never drank a cup since then. She lived a hard life so that her children could live better ones.

Gammy has 4 children, 24 grandchildren and 53 great-grandchildren. She is my Gammy.

My last memory of Gammy is from just a little over a week ago. My brother Nathaniel and I took work off and made Gammy a nativity out of clay and took it to her. I held her hand the whole time we talked to her. She was in a lot of pain and we told her how much we love her. She told me I need to get married :) Mom made her promise to help me find my husband. :)

I love my Gammy. I am proud to be a Granddaughter of such an amazing woman.

This is a poem my brother Matt wrote about Gammy.

My Gammy - by Matt
Thank you for giving me The Church

Thank you for giving me my mom

Thank you for believing in me

Thank you for living a hard life to give me a better one

Thank you for your stories

Thank you for your poems

Thank you for the memories

Thank you for giving me my life

Thank you for loving me before you knew me

I will miss you, Gammy

We will all miss you

From your granddaugther, Emilie, I love you Gammy. Thank you for being MY Gammy.

London

I'm going to London!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was a random decision honestly. I had heard about this choral study program last year and they asked how many people would be interested. I did not raise my hand. I wasn't interested. I had other plans and other ideas. When I got back from Nauvoo and my friend Jake told me about London and everything that would happen there, I had a stirring of excitement that I can't quite explain. I've never really been driven to travel to London. My dream is to go to Africa. But for some reason I really wanted to go. I told Mom about it and then put it out of my mind, thinking I would apply in January when the application was due.

Last week, I looked at the brochure again. It said, "Application due December 10". They moved the deadline. I had to think about it for all of 1 minute before I decided to apply. I applied, went through a rather intense interview and then today I got an amazing email.
"Emilie Gardner, Congratulations on your acceptance to the BYU choral study abroad program Spring 2010." AGHGHGHGHGHGHGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm going to LONDON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm going to LONDON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Thought About Change

We are creatures of habit.

How many times have you heard that? How much do you actually enjoy change in your life? Sometimes people are very good about it. They love change and they seek for it. Others of us are uncomfortable with any change that happens in our lives. However, are we living up to our true potential or does there need to be a change in our lives for us to become the kinds of people we can truly become? We pray to Heavenly Father and ask Him for new experiences and new blessings, but what are we doing to show Heavenly Father that we are ready for those new experiences and blessings? We drive home the same way every day. We eat at the same restaurants and often eat the same things. We are creatures of habit. If we want to show that we are ready for change, try doing something new. Drive home a new way. Eat something you've never eaten before. Do something you have never done before. If we make the conscious decision to try something new, we are also communicating to our Heavenly Father that we are ready for something new.

A New Post

Wow! It's been a while. I apologize for the long delay since the last post. You see, I wasn't sure how to write a post about the most life-changing experience I've ever had. What I will do is post a couple of my favorite letters home on here and you can read those. This will just give you an idea of a typical week in Nauvoo. In addition to the funny things you will read, there were amazing testimony builders. We had talks every week from our mission president that were inspiring and uplifting. I have never felt so close to my Savior as I did in Nauvoo. The beautiful thing is that what I learned in Nauvoo doesn't end in Nauvoo. I will continue to bear my testimony and live my life differently because of my experience there. Nauvoo was a miracle for me. I know the gospel of Jesus Christ is true. It's the most beautiful blessing I have ever experienced.


Hello family!!
I didn't have time on P-day to write to you, so President is letting me write while I wait for my companion to finish her meeting with President. This week has been so great!! We started performing on Saturday! There was a lot of adrenaline and a lot of energy for both shows. The first show was great and we had a couple of really funny things happen. During the first scene there is a really fast costume change and the Elder got his hand caught in the sleeve and then he had to get on stage so he thought he would just put it through the sleeve the rest of the way while he was on stage. His hand would NOT go through the sleeve. It was completely stuck. Because of that, his jacket looked extremely awkward. He really looked like a hunchback on stage. He had to shake hands with the people on stage and it was his right hand that was in the coat. So when he went to shake another Elder's hand, it was a girly handshake and then he had to grab his bag with his sleevie hand. We were dying backstage. It was so funny! Another thing that happened was one girl tripped on another guy's foot and she fell right off the stage onto her bum. Everyone on the front row kept asking her if she was all right. She was thoroughly embarrassed. We had another guy step on a girl's dress during the dance scene and rip the bottom off so it was about 3 feet of fabric just trailing around her. And then there is a lift that some of the couples do where the guy just lifts up the girl in the back and holds her like a bear hug around her legs. Anyway, the heels on girl's shoes got caught in the front part of the elder's pants. He kept trying to lift her higher so she could get them out and she ended up having to sit on his shoulder while she took her shoes out of his pants. It was a little awkward but absolutely hysterical. Oh my... I hope that makes you laugh!

Sunset by the Mississippi is by far my favorite show. I still struggle a ton with high hopes and riverboats and what I feel should be the story here. I'm working on having the same energy for that show, but it is difficult. At sunset though we had a hilarious thing happen! One night this week it was attack of the June bugs. Matt, Melodie, Josh, and Steve, do you guys remember June bugs??? Sickness and death!!!!! They are so disgusting!! They are fat, brown, loud, an inch long AND they fly!! ugh!!!!! They are stupid bugs too!! They kept dive-bombing the stage and you could hear them splatting on the stage and then because they land on their backs they just buzz around and it's really loud and sick!!! During one of our group numbers, a june bug landed in my companion's hair and she started jumping around and shaking her head during the group number. Oh my gosh... it was so funny!! About 5 minutes later, during the patriotic medley, one of the bugs landed on a sister's neck and she let out a giant scream. The audience loved it. It was hilarious and will probably be one of my favorite memories of Nauvoo.

My voice is holding up really well!!! I will have vocal chords of steel when I get home. We are constantly singing and I know the Lord is helping all of us. Also, when I got out here both of my feet were hurting excrutiatingly from when I broke them. I thought they were healed before I came but I couldn't dance at all. I started wearing my boot to all the rehearsals and I couldn't learn the clogging I needed to. It was very frustrating and I was really worried I was going to be sent home. It's kind of a dancing mission... I went in to talk to the mission president about it because I was so worried. He gave me a blessing and told me the Lord is very proud of me and my service here. He said my feet would heal completely because the Lord wants me to dance with all my heart here. About a week before the shows started, my feet were completely fine. I kid you not. I was not doing anything differently. In fact, I was working harder and not wearing the boot. My feet have not hurt in two weeks. My companion's feet hurt every day after our performances and my feet do not hurt. Do you understand what a miracle that is?? My feet have been hurting for 9 months and all of a sudden I can dance for 8 hours and my feet don't hurt. I tear up thinking about it. I know I needed to learn things from my feet hurting. The Lord has a specific design for His children and all of their trials are catered specifically to them. I love you guys so much. My heart is so full as I think about how blessed I am. The gospel is true. Shout it from the rooftops!!! It's true!!! The only true happiness in life comes through our Savior Jesus Christ. His atonement allows that happiness in all of us. He wants us to come to Him so much!!!!! You are all so amazing!!!! Thank you for your support!!!!!

With all my heart,
Sister Gardner

Talents

The last month or so has been a very difficult one for me. The last two weeks have been even harder. This week has been the week from you-know-where! I don't think I've ever had so many feelings of despair, inadequacy and being just plain overwhelmed in my life. I have cried at least once every day this week. I have wondered if I am really good enough to go to Nauvoo. I've wondered if I'm prepared spiritually. I've wondered how on earth I'll ever prepare physically (moving, exercise after breaking my feet, etc...). I've wondered how to prepare academically (finals are this week). Every possible self-defeating thought I could possibly think has entered my mind more than once. And they are often entering my mind at the same time. I don't know how to do everything I need to do! I worry, I pray, I cry, I worry, I pray, I cry... You get the picture! It has just been difficult and I haven't really found peace with the whole idea.

Last Sunday I felt a little bit of peace in my life. Sacrament meeting was all about missionary work. We have several people leaving on missions in my ward and one of them gave a talk about the temple. She talked about her testimony and all she has learned. The Bishop then called up random people from the ward to share their testimonies of the gospel with the congregation. I don't know how, but it seemed each of them had something to say specifically for me. I cried through the whole Sacrament Meeting (it's rather difficult to play piano when you're crying!).

The most comforting thing was said in Sunday School. I don't even know if the teacher meant it this way, but we were talking about the law of consecration and he asked this question: "How would your outlook change if you really took into account that EVERYTHING is the Lord's?" He then listed some things on the board to think about and answer. One of the things he put up was talents. How would our thoughts about talents change if everything was the Lord's? The first way I took it was that I need to work harder and make sure I dedicate all of my talent to Him and make sure I am doing all that I do in His name. But then this other thought crept in. If my talent is really the Lord's talent, then it is enough. It is more than enough. It is exactly what He wants me to have and He will use it to better His kingdom because my talent really is the Lord's talent.

I'm tearing up as I type this because this has been weighing on my mind so much lately. By myself, I know I would not be able to do Nauvoo. If my talents were my own, I would not be enough. Because my talent is the Lord's talent, I will do enough and I will do His will. And I will do all in my power to better His kingdom.

I know the gospel of Jesus Christ is true. I know Joseph Smith was a prophet of God. I know President Monson is our prophet today. How blessed we are to have this knowledge. How blessed we are to be able to serve our Lord and thank Him in small ways. I am so grateful for the opportunity to go to Nauvoo and I pray with all of my energy and heart that I will humble myself and give myself to Him completely so I truly can better His kingdom and do His will in Nauvoo.

Conference

Saturday afternoon I overheard this conversation on Caitie's phone, "Hello Adam!" "We're coming later tonight" "You miss me? I miss you too!" "All right I'll see you tonight!" Right after the second session I overheard another phone call on Caitie's phone, "Hello Joseph!" "You're already there?" "We'll be there in 40 minutes!" Both of the nephews had called wondering when Caitie and I were going to show up. It's so fun to be missed!! We promptly left to go partake of the tradition we've made of watching conference at Josh and Mel's home. It consists of children, food, late nights, food, children, and watching conference. Did I mention food? :) We always have a blast and it always so fun to see everyone and hang out for the weekend!

This year Conference was extremely wonderful. It's my haven during a busy time. I love hearing the words of the prophets. I love how they seem to pertain just to me and everyone I talk to feels the same. I love how strong and beautiful the testimonies are. This year I had a keen awareness of just how much I have to work on. I need to strengthen my testimony and obey the commandments more fully. In addition to the thoughts of what I need to work on, I felt so much hope. I felt so much love and faith.

It was such a beautiful conference and I'm so excited to continue to listen and study the words as they come out on the internet and read them in the ensign. The Church is so true! I am so grateful to be a part of it!

Temple!

Conference was amazing this year. One of my favorite parts was when Melodie made up a game for the kids. She wrote down key words on strips of paper and put them in a bowl. Each of the children picked a strip of paper and every time one of the General Authorities said that word, they could get a handful of popcorn. The children got so excited!! Rachel picked the word temple and during Elder Bednar's talk, she got a lot of popcorn! It was so much that Melodie let the other kids get popcorn when they heard that word too! It turned into a wonderful game and the kids were focused on General Conference. Way to go Mel!

I really love General Conference! I love our tradition of going to Josh and Mel's. You guys are awesome!

Rachel stuffing her face with popcorn! :) So cute!! (Do you love her hair??)

Temple! I heard temple!!

Follow up

A little follow up... Engaged just got a letter from Provo City saying that Dishes was being charged and Engaged could get retribution if she wanted.  So crazy!