An interview with my oldest nephew

I interviewed my nephew, Joseph David Gardner. Here is how the interview went.

"Your full name?"

"Jacob Loreen Gardner"

"That's silly! Where did you get that name?"

"It's a mix between my brother and sister."

"How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator?"

"You freeze it, then chop it up into pieces as big as the freezer, and then you roast it in the oven, and then you throw it out the window."

"And that's how you get it into the fridge?"

"Yup!"

"How do you get a giraffe and and elephant into the fridge?"

"First you put the giraffe on the TV, and then you put it on the roof. And then bring the elephant inside and chop it to bits."

"Interesting."

"If you could be any animal what would you be and why?"

"Umm... an ant. Cause then I would be crawling around and scaring people."

"Have you ever eaten a leaf or a flower?"

"No, but I like butter. Mostly on pancakes."

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the floor?"

"A ball with a head."

"Have you ever seen the tooth fairy?"

"No, but I've seen a tooth. I got $1,000 from the tooth fairy."

"Do you have friends at school?"

"Umm, I have 19."

"What's your favorite action figure?"

"The movie Oz."

"Huh? What wizard of Oz?"

"Yeah, the Oz part. Cause he sounds scary."

"What did you do at your baptism?"

"Umm.. eat cookies."

"Did you do anything else?"

"Umm... I ran around the building."

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"A doctor."

"Why?"

"Because I want to make money. Plus, a soccer player in the World Cup."

"Who is your favorite player?"

"KK"

"Who is that?"

"Kayce Keller."

How many children do you want?

"One, because then I only have to handle one person. You keep going there, going there and helping everybody."

"Who are you going to marry?"

"No one."

"How are you going to get a kid?"

"I don't know. Just wait for a long time."

"Do you have a crush on any girls?"

"NOOO!!!"

"Do girls have cooties?"

"I dunno."

Have you ever kissed a girl?"

"No!"

"What do you think of married people?"

"Dunno."

"Do you like it when girls play with you in the sandbox with trucks and stuff?"

(thumbs down) "Boo.. unless my sister does."

"You like your sister?"

"Sisterrrssssss... What's next?"

"Who is your hero?"

"My Daddy"

"Why?"

"Because I love him"

"You want to grow up to be like your dad?"

"Maybe... yeah! I just don't want to do computer work.... just soccer."

"Who's your coach?"

"My Daddy!"

"What do you want to say to people who read this?"

"Umm.. Read it!"

"Thanks for the interview Joseph."

"Thank you for enjoying my time!"

"You have a wonderful day!"